Blood Promise Chapter Twenty-Three

Unfortunately, I couldnt remember where Id mat it before.Considering everything else that had been happening to me, the fact that Id even rec wholeed it at completely was remark fitted. My memories were a teentsy scattered, nevertheless I did my best to sift with them, wondering where I had experienced that tickling in my brain. I received no firmnesss, and pondering it all(prenominal) soon became as frustrating as coming up with an escape plan.And as more time passed, I realized I real did need an escape plan. The endorphin withdrawal was killing me, but I was thinking more and more clearly as the effects left my system. I was astonished at how divulge of it Id let myself become. As soon as Id allowed Dimitri to bite me Id fallen apart. Id lost my juicyer reasoning. Id lost my strength and skills. Id become dim and silly and stupid. Well, not entirely. If Id completely lost it, Id be a Strigoi now. in that location was some comfort, at least, in recogniseing that even w hile high on bites, some part of me had still fought through and refused to succumb.Knowing I wasnt as entirely weak as Id believed helped elapse me going. It made it easier to ignore the yearning in my body, to distract myself with bad TV and eating all the food in the little refrigerator. I even stayed awake for a long time in the hopes of exhausting myself. It worked, and I crashed as soon as I hit the pillow, drifting into a dreamless sleep with no withdrawal effects.I was modify later when a body slid into bed beside me. I opened my look and stared right into Dimitris red ones. For the first time in days, I looked at him with fear, not love. I kept that off my face, though, and smiled at him. I reached emerge and touched his face.Youre back. I missed you.He caught my hand and kissed my palm. I had things to do.The shadows shifted on his face, and I caught the tiniest glance of dried blood near his m let onh. Grimacing, I rubbed it off with my finger. So I see.Its the natur al order, Rose. How are you intuitive feeling?Better. ExceptWhat?I looked away, conflicted again. The look in his eyes rightful(prenominal) then was more than simple curiosity. There was c one timern thither-only a little-but it was there. Concern for me. And yet only a moment ago, Id wiped blood from his face-blood from some woeful person whose life had been snuffed out within the last few hours, more or less likely.I was in Lissas head, I verbalise at last. There was no misemploy in telling him this. Like Nathan, he knew she was at the Academy. And I got pushed out.Pushed out?Yeah I was seeing through her eyes like I usually do, and then some force I dont know, an invisible hand shoved me out. Ive never felt anything like it.Maybe its a new spirit ability.Maybe. Except, Ive been watching her regularly, and Ive never seen her practice or even consider anything like that.He shrugged slightly and put an arm around me. Being awakened gives you better senses and accessibility to the world. only if it doesnt make you omniscient. I dont know wherefore that happened to you.Clearly not omniscient, or else Nathan wouldnt want information about her so badly. Why is that? Why are the Strigoi fixated on killing the princely lines? We know theyve-youve-been doing it, but why? What does it matter? Isnt a victim a victim-especially when plenty of Strigoi used to be royal Moroi?That requires a perplex answer. A large part of hunting Moroi royalty is fear. In your old world, royalty are held above all others. They get the best guardians, the best protection. Yes, that was sure as shooting true. Lissa had discovered that much at Court. If we can still get to them through that, then what does it say? It call ups no one is safe. It creates fear, and fear makes people do foolish things. It makes them easier prey.Thats horrible.Prey or-Yeah, yeah, I know. Prey or predator.His eyes narrowed slightly, apparently not liking the interruption. He let it go. Theres to a f ault a public assistance to unraveling Moroi leadership. That creates instability, to a fault.Or maybe theyd be better off with a change of leadership, I said. He gave me another odd look, and I was a bit ball over myself. There I was, thinking like Victor Dashkov again. I realized I should just be quiet. I wasnt behaving like my usual scattered and high self. Whats the rest?The rest A smile curved up his lips. The rest is prestige. We do it for the glory of it. For the reputation it gives us and the satisfaction of knowing were responsible for destroying that which others becoment been able to destroy for centuries.Simple Strigoi nature. Malice, hunting, and death. There didnt need to be any other reasons.Dimitris gaze moved past me to my bedside table. It was where I took off all my jewelry at night and laid it out. All his gifts were there, glittering like some pirates treasure. Reaching over me, he lifted up the nazar on its chain. You still have this.Yup. not as pretty as y our stuff, though. Seeing the blue eye reminded me of my mother. I hadnt thought about her in a very long time. Back in Baia, Id grown to see Olena as a secondary mother, but now now I kind of wished for my own. Janine Hathaway index not cook and clean, but she was refreshful and competent. And in some ways, I realized with a start, we thought alike. My traits had come from her, and I knew with certainty that in this situation, she wouldnt have stopped planning escape.This I havent seen before, Dimitri said. Hed great deal the nazar back down and picked up the plain silver ring Mark had precondition me. I hadnt worn it since I was last in the Belikov house and had model it on the table next to the nazar.I got it while I was- I stopped, realizing I hadnt ever brought up my travels before Novosibirsk.While you were what?While I was in your hometown. In Baia.Dimitri was playing with the ring, moving it from fingertip to fingertip, but he paused and glanced over at me when I said t he name. You were there? Strangely, we hadnt talked much about that. Id incur downed Novosibirsk a few times, but that was it.I thought thats where youd be, I explained. I didnt know that Strigoi did their hunting in cities here. I stayed with your family.His eyes returned to the ring. He continued playing with it, twirling it and rolling it around. And?And they were nice. I want them. I hung out with Viktoria a lot.Why wasnt she at school?It was Easter.Ah, right. How was she?Fine, I said quickly. I couldnt bring myself to tell him about that last night with her and Rolan. Karolinas good too. She reminds me of you. She really laid into some dhampir guys who were causing trouble.He smiled again, and it was nice. I mean, the fangs still made it creepy, but it didnt have that sinister edge Id come to expect. There was center in his face, true affection that startled me. I can see Karolina doing that. Did she have her baby yet?Yeah I was still a little thrown off by that smile. It was a girl. Zoya.Zoya, he repeated, still not looking at me. non a bad name. How was Sonya?Okay. I didnt see too much of her. Shes a little touchy Viktoria says its because of the pregnancy.Sonyas pregnant too?Oh. Yeah. Six months, I think.His smile dimmed a little bit, and he almost seemed concerned. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Her decisions arent always as wise as Karolinas. Karolinas children were by choice Im guessing Sonyas was a surprise.Yeah. I kind of got that feeling too.He ticked off the rest of his family members. My mother and grandmother?Er, fine. Both of them. This conversation was becoming increasingly strange. Not only was it the first normal one wed had since Id arrived, it was also the first time hed really seemed interested in anything that wasnt Strigoi related or that didnt involve kissing and biting, aside from some reminiscing about our early fights together-and the teasing reminders of depend on in the cabin. Your grandmother scared me a lit tle.He laughed, and I flinched. It was so, so close to his old laugh. Closer than Id ever imagined it could be. Yes, she does that to people.And she pretended not to speak English. That was a pretty small detail in the grand scheme of things, but it still kind of pissed me off.Yes, she does that too. He continued smiling, voice fond. Do they all still live together? In that same house?Yup. I saw the books you told me about. The pretty ones-but I couldnt read them.Thats where I first got into American westerns.Man, I loved making fun of you over those.He chuckled. Yes, between that, your stereotypes about Eastern European music, and the whole ?comrade thing, you had plenty of material.I laughed too. ?Comrade and the music were kind of out of line. Id almost forgotten about my old nickname for him. It didnt fit anymore. But you brought the cowboy thing on yourself, between the leather duster and- I stopped. Id started to mention his duty to help those in need, but that was hardly the case anymore. He didnt notice my lapse.And then you left them and came to Novosibirsk?Yeah. I came with those dhampirs I was hunting with those other unpromised ones. I almost didnt, though. Your family wanted me to stay. I thought about doing it.Dimitri held the ring up to the light, face shadowed with thought. He sighed. You probably should have.Theyre good people.They are, he said softly. You might have been happy there.Reaching over, he set the ring back on the table and then turned to me, bringing our mouths together. It was the softest, sweetest kiss hed given me as a Strigoi, and my al mark considerable shock increased. The gentleness was fleeting, though, and a few seconds later, our kissing returned to what it usually was, forceful and hungry. I had a feeling he was hungry for more than just kissing, too, despite having fed recently. Pushing aside my confusion over how well, normal and kind hed seemed while talking about his family, I tried to figure out how I was going to dodge more biting without raising suspicion. My body was still weak and wanting it, but in my head, I felt more like myself than I had in ages.Dimitri pulled up from the kiss, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind before he could do anything else. Whats it like?Whats what like?Kissing.He frowned. Score one for me. Id momentarily baffled an undead creature of the night. Sydney would be proud. What do you mean?You said macrocosm awakened enhances all the senses. Is kissing different then?Ah. Understanding flashed over his features. It is, kind of. My sense of smell is stronger than it used to be, so your scent comes through much more intensely your sweat, the shampoo in your hair its beyond what you can imagine. Intoxicating. And of course, sharper taste and touch make this better. He leaned down and kissed me again, and something about his description made my insides queasy-in a good way. That wasnt supposed to happen. My hope was to distract him-not myself.When we we re outside the other night, the flowers were really strong. If theyre strong to me, are they overwhelming to you? I mean, do the scents get to be too much?And so it began. I bombarded him with as many questions as I could, asking him about all aspects of Strigoi life. I wanted to know what it was like, how he felt I asked everything with curiosity and enthusiasm, biting my lip and turning thoughtful at all the right places. I could see his interest grow as I spoke, though his attitude was brisk and efficient-in no way resembling our earlier affectionate conversation. He was hoping that I was finally on the verge of agreeing to turn.As the questioning continued, so also did my outward signs of fatigue. I yawned a lot, lost my train of thought a lot. Finally, I rubbed my eyes with my hands and yawned again. Theres so much I didnt know still dont knowI told you it was amazing.Honestly, some of it was. Most of it was creepy as hell, but if you got over the whole undead and evil thing, t here were definitely some perks to being Strigoi.I have more questions, I murmured. I closed my eyes and sighed, then opened them as though forcing myself to stay awake. But Im so stock(a) I still dont feel good. You dont think I have a concussion, do I?No. And once youre awakened, it wont matter anyway.But not until you answer the rest of my questions. The words were muffled in a yawn, but he understood. It took him a while to respond.Okay. Not until then. But time is running out. I told you that before.I let my lids drift closed then. But its not the second day yetNo, he said quietly. Not yet.I lay there, steadying my quick as much as I could. Would my act work? It was highly possible he would still drink from me even if he thought I was asleep. I was taking a gamble here. One bite, and all my work to fight the withdrawal would be wasted. Id reset to how Id been. As it was, I had no pool stick how I was going to dodge a bite next time but then, I didnt think thered be a next ti me. Id be a Strigoi by then.Dimitri lay beside me for a few more minutes, and then I felt him move. Inside, I braced myself. Damn. Here it came. The bite. Id been certain that our kissing was part of the influence of him drinking from me and that if I just fell asleep, the allure would be gone. Apparently not. All my pretending was for nonentity. It was all over.But it wasnt.He got up and left.When I hear the door close, I almost thought it was a scam. I thought for sure he was trying to fake me out and still actually stood in the room.Yet when I felt the Strigoi nausea fade, I realized the truth. He really had left me, thinking I infallible to sleep. My act had been convincing.I at once sat up, turning a few different things over in my mind. In that last bit of his visit, hed seemed well, hed reminded me more than ever of the old Dimitri. Sure, hed still been Strigoi through and through, but thered been something else. A bit of warmth to his laugh. Sincere interest and affectio n upon hearing about his family. Had that been it? Had hearing news of his family triggered some piece of his soul interred within the monster? I confess, I felt a little jealous at the thought that they might have wrought the change in him that I couldnt. But hed still had that same warmth in talking about us, just a littleNo, no. I had to stop this. There was no change. No reversal of his state. It was wishful thinking, and the more I regained my old self, the more I realized the truth of the situation.Dimitris actions had made me recall something. Id completely forgotten about Oksanas ring. I picked it up from the table and slipped it on my finger. I felt no noticeable change, but if the healing magic was still in it, it might help me. It could expedite my body and mind healing from the withdrawal. If any of Lissas darkness was bleeding into me, the ring could help dampen that, too.I sighed. No matter how a great deal I told myself I was free of her, I never would be. She was m y best friend. We were connected in a way that few could understand. The denial Id been living under lifted. I regretted my actions with Adrian now. Hed come to me for help, and Id thrown his kindness back in his face. Now I was bereft of communication with the outside world.And thinking of Lissa reminded me again of what had happened earlier when Id been in her mind. What had pushed me out? I hesitated, pondering my course of action. Lissa was far away and possibly in trouble. Dimitri and the other Strigoi were here. But I couldnt walk away quite yet. I had to take one more look at her, just a quick oneI found her in an unexpected place. She was with Deirdre, a counselor on campus. Lissa had been seeing a counselor ever since spirit had begun manifesting, but it had been mortal else. Expanding my senses to Lissas thoughts, I read the story Her counselor had left shortly after the schools attack. Lissa had been reassigned to Deirdre-who had once counseled me when everyone thought I was going crazy over Masons death.Deirdre was a very polished-looking Moroi, always meticulously dressed with her blond hair styled to perfection. She didnt look much senior than us, and with me, her counseling method had resembled a police interrogation. With Lissa, she was more gentle. It figured.Lissa, were a little worried about you. Normally, you would have been suspended. I actually stopped that from happening. I keep feeling like theres something going on that you arent telling me. Some other issue.Lissa suspended? I again reached in to read the situation and found it. in conclusion night, Lissa and others had been busted for breaking into the library of all places and having an impromptu party complete with alcohol and destruction to some of the property. Good God. My best friend needed to yoke AA.Lissas arms were crossed, her demeanor almost combative. Theres no issue. We were just trying to have fun. Im sorry for the damage. If you want to suspend me, go ahead.Deirdre shook her head. Thats not my decision. My concern is the why here. I know you used to suffer from depression and other problems because of your, ah, magic. But this feels more like some kind of rebellion.Rebellion? Oh, it was more than that. Since their fight, Lissa had been unable to sire Christian, and it was killing her. She couldnt handle downtime now. All she thought about was him-or me. Partying and risk taking were the only things that could distract her from us.Students do this stuff all the time, argued Lissa. Why is it a monstrous deal for me?Well, because you put yourself in danger. After the library, you were on the verge of breaking into the pool. Swimming while intoxicated is definite cause for alarm.Nobody drowned. Even if someone had started to, Im sure that between all of us, we could have pulled them out.Its just alarming, considering some of the self-destructive behaviors you once exhibited, like the cuttingSo it went for the next hour, and Lissa did as good a j ob as I used to in dodging Deirdres questions. When the session ended, Deirdre said she wasnt going to recommend disciplinary action. She wanted Lissa back for more counseling. Lissa would have actually preferred detention or cleaning boards.As she stalked furiously across campus, she spotted Christian going in the opposite direction. go for lit the blackness of her mind like sunshine.Christian she yelled, running up to him.He stopped, giving her a wary look. What do you want?What do you mean what do I want? She wanted to throw herself in his arms and have him tell her everything would be okay. She was upset and overwhelmed and filled with darkness but there was a piece of vulnerability there that desperately needed him. I havent been able to find you.Ive just been His face darkened. I dont know. Thinking. Besides, from what I hear, you havent been too bored. No surprise everyone knew about last nights fiasco. That kind of thing spread like wildfire thanks to the Academys gossip mi ll.It was nothing, she said. The way he regarded her made her heart ache.Thats the thing, he said. Everythings nothing lately. All your partying. Making out with other guys. Lying.I havent been lying she exclaimed. And when are you going to get over Aaron?You arent telling me the truth. Its the same thing. It was an echo of Jills sentiment. Lissa barely knew her and was really starting to hate her. I just cant handle this. I cant be a part of you going back to your days of being a royal girl doing crazy stunts with your other royal friends.Heres the thing. If Lissa had elaborated on her feelings more, on just how much her guilt and depression were eating her up and making her lurch out of control well, I think Christian would have been there for her in an instant. Despite his cynical exterior, he had a good heart-and Lissa owned most of it. Or used to. Now all he could see was her being silly and shallow and returning to a lifestyle he despised.Im not she exclaimed. Im just I dont know. It just feels good to sort of let loose.I cant do it, he said. I cant be with you if thats your life now.Her eyes went wide. Are you breaking up with me?Im I dont know. Yeah, I guess. Lissa was so consumed by the shock and horror of this that she didnt really see Christian the way I did, didnt see the agony in his eyes. It washed-up him to have to do this. He was hurting too, and all he saw was the girl he loved changing and becoming someone he couldnt be with. Things arent the way they used to be.You cant do that, she cried. She didnt see his pain. She saw him as being cruel and unfair. We need to talk about this-figure it out-The time for talkings past, he argued. You should have been ready to talk sooner-not now, not when things suddenly arent going your way.Lissa didnt know whether she wanted to scream or cry. She just knew she couldnt lose Christian-not after losing me, too. If she lost some(prenominal) of us, there was nothing left for her in the world.Please, dont do this, she begged. I can change.Im sorry, he snapped. I just dont see any evidence of that.He turned and frankly walked away. To her, his variance was harsh and cold. But again, Id seen the anguish in his eyes. I think he left because he knew if he stayed, he wasnt going to be able to go through with this decision-this decision that hurt but that he felt was right. Lissa started to go after him when a hand suddenly pulled her back. She turned and saw Avery and Adrian standing there. From the looks on their faces, theyd overheard everything.Let him go, said Adrian gravely. Hed been the one to grab her. He dropped his hand and laced his fingers through Averys. Going after him nows just going to make it worse. Give him his space.He cant do this, said Lissa. He cant do this to me.Hes upset, said Avery, her concern mirroring Adrians. He isnt thinking straight. Wait for him to cool off, and hell come around.Lissa stared off after Christians retreating figure, her heart breaking. I dont know. I dont know if he will. Oh God. I cant lose him.My own heart broke. I wanted so badly to go to her, to comfort her and be there for her. She felt so alone, and I felt horrible for leaving her.Something had pushed her into this downward spiral, and I should have been there to help her out of it. That was what best friends did. I needed to be there.Lissa turned back and looked at Avery. Im so confused I dont know what to do.Avery met her eyes, but when she did the strangest thing happened. Avery wasnt looking at her. She was looking at me.Oh jeez. Not you again.The voice rang in my head, and snap I was out of Lissa.There it was, the mental shove, the brush of my mind and waves of hot and cold. I stared around my room, shocked at how abrupt the transition had been. Yet Id learned something. I knew then that Lissa hadnt been the one to shove me out before or now. Lissa had been too distracted and too distraught. The voice? That hadnt been hers either.And then, I finally remembered where Id felt that brushing touch in my head. Oksana. It was the same sensation Id experienced when she had reached out to my mind, trying to get a feel for my moods and intentions, an action that both she and Mark admitted was invasive and wrong if you werent bonded to someone.Carefully, I replayed what had just happened with Lissa. Once again, I saw those last few moments. Blue-gray eyes staring at me-me, not Lissa.Lissa hadnt pushed me out of her head.Avery had.